Sign in a Laundromat:
Sign in a London department store:
In an office:
On a church door:
Outside a photographer's studio:
Seen at the side of a Sussex road:
Outside a disco:
Sign warning of quicksand:
Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish:
Notice in a dry cleaner's window:
Sign on motorway garage:
Notice in health food shop window:
Spotted in a safari park:
Seen during a conference:
Notice in a field:
Sign on a repair shop door:
Sign at Norfolk farm gate:
Spotted in a toilet in a London office block:
HOW TO KNOW YOU'RE' GROWING OLDER
Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt,
Your little black book contains only names
ending in M.D.
You get winded playing chess.
You join a health club and don't go.
You're still chasing women, but can't remember why.
You turn out the light for economic rather
than romantic reasons.
You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it
Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
You sink your teeth into a steak and they